Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
