weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
