It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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