Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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