My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
