I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
