did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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