I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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