Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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