nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
