yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
