Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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