Heybabeimwearingurpanties
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
