I CAN MOONWALK!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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