dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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