last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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