Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
