Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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