You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
