I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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