I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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