Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
