The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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