I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
