been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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