whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
