oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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