I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This is my gift to your gina
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
