Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
