yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
