somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
