I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
