i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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