did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
