Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
