dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
