"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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