You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
