he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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