Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
