Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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