you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
