I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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