omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
