Whod you bang
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
