And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
