May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's rum buckets o'clock
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
