she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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