you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
