She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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