I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
