i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
