I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
