idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
