the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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