Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
