I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
