they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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