I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
