but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
