White coat. Heels.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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