pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize