I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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