My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
