1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize