we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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