You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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