i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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