Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
